The Big One
by spotpc
Summary: Updated 1128. Oneshot humor. Does Keisuke really believe everything Ryosuke says? And why? The funniest Takahashi family secret revealed. R&R Please.


This is my first shot at Initial D, so I thought I'd start slow with a one-shot humor. I don't own any of the characters. Review please, but no flamers. Story notes at the end.

_The Big One_

"Aniki, I'm coming in."

Ryosuke looked up towards the door as his little brother opened it. Silently, he wondered why Keisuke couldn't just hang out in his own room. He didn't really mind though. He was sort of used to it.

"What are you doing today?" Keisuke asked, craning his neck to see the big open book on Ryosuke's desk.

Ryosuke took the book and set it in his lap so Keisuke could see too. It was only a family photo album. Their own faces smiled back at them from the pictures. Ryosuke made sure to put his hand on top of the one of himself and Keisuke with the fish. That one always reminded him uncomfortably of the Elrics. He wasn't even sure why he was looking at these now. He turned back a few pages. Baby pictures usually gave him the creeps, but it was better with Keisuke there.

"It's weird… looking at pictures of things you don't remember," Keisuke said.

"I remember that one," Ryosuke said, pointing at a small photo of himself at his fifth birthday party.

"You remember that far back?" Keisuke asked, only slightly surprised.

"Of course," Ryosuke replied. "It was around that time when I started to like you."

Keisuke stared, confused. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"For the first three years of your life, I hated you. It was the same thing all older siblings go through. Mom and dad paid more attention to you. I thought they would completely forget about me. And that made me hate you."

"So… what changed?" Keisuke asked, hoping desperately for something comforting.

"When you were three years old, you asked me a question for the first time. You asked me what the difference was between boys and girls. I was only five at the time and I didn't know myself. But I wanted to sound smart, so I guessed and told you that the difference was that girls have longer hair. And you believed me. After that, you believed everything I said without question. It's hard to hate someone who puts that much faith in you."

"Well, I guess if that's the biggest lie you ever told me…"

"But it isn't."

Keisuke's eyes widened. "What was the biggest then?"

"That's hard to know. When you were six I told you that chocolate bars grew on trees in South America."

"That's not so big, I guess."

"When you were eight I told you that if you flushed a dead fish down the toilet, it would attract alligators."

"You mean I got yelled at for messing up my clothes for nothing? No way is a dead fish worth that."

"When you were ten I told you that if you wrote on your hands with a pen, the ink would sink into your bloodstream and poison you."

"So… ink won't poison me?"

"Not unless you drink it. When you were twelve I told you that if you rang someone's doorbell and ran away, you could be arrested for disturbing the peace."

"I should have known…"

"When you were fourteen I told you that there were plans to move the United Nations headquarters from New York to Tokyo."

"Yeah, I kinda figured…"

"When you were sixteen I told you that cell phones cause cancer."

"But that's true. Didn't they just do that study?"

"Yes, and they disproved the claim. When you were eighteen I told you that the TV broadcasting companies could use your license plate number to track you with their satellites."

Keisuke blinked a few times, trying to absorb all the information.

"So, you've told me a big lie every two years since I was six years old," he said.

"I suppose, yes. It was never about anything important."

"Well, last year was an even numbered year. What was the lie you told me then?"

"Last year… I told you that I never lied to you."

Story Notes:

For "hi" - I'm completely useless when it comes to written Asian languages. The best I can do is one of those phonetic pronouciation things. Ryosuke "ree-oh-skay", Keisuke "kay-skay". I hope that helps.

I'm sure you noticed that I used the Japanese word "aniki" right in the first line. For those who haven't seen any of the subbed episodes, that means "brother" and it's Keisuke's nickname for Ryosuke in the original Japanese. That's where the translators for the dubbed version got "bro" from. And also, for those who have only seen the dubbed version, Ryosuke and Keisuke are the full Japanese names of Ry and KT. Most of the characters names were shortened or changed for the dub. Similar to what they did for Cardcaptor Sakura.

Some people might get confused by my mention of the Elrics. This is a reference to Fullmetal Alchemist. The opening credits of FMA feature a series of childhood photos of Ed Elric and his beloved little brother Al, including one of them holding up a fish they just caught. In the first episode, Ed and Al get horribly maimed in an alchemy accident and spend the rest of the series searching for a way to get their bodies back to normal. I hope some of my readers find that line funny. I certainly do.

I thought of writing a parody of FMA using Initial D characters but I know it would just turn into Knight Rider and I don't think I could face that. If anybody remembers Knight Rider, you're welcome to email me. I haven't found many older otaku online. It's mostly teenagers, you know.

Thank you to all the reviewers.


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